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Today April 23, 2014

Mad Men

Written by Rudy on April 23, 2014 - 7:07 am -

Just like every quarter, this Rudy Report has beaten estimates and exceeded analyst expectations, making us the best time investment there is, today on "National Talk Like Shakespeare Day." The final season of "Mad Men" is under way, and the show has influenced fashion styles and furniture trends. People want the old times back! This ad from the 60's reminds us why the past was better....


Manchester United have fired their coach David Moyes and replaced him with Ryan Giggs. Meanwhile, in the Champions League, Chelsea and Atletico Madrid had a 0-0 draw, impressively demonstrating how both teams do not deserve to be in the competition at this point. In the NBA, Brooklyn lost against Toronto, which means the series is tied at 1-1. In baseball, the Yankees crushed Boston, while the Mets lost against St. Louis. And, in the NHL Playoffs, the New York Rangers beat Philadelphia to take a 2-1 series lead.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Andruw Jones, John Cena, Bobby Shaw, and Chinese renju sensation Wu Di. On this day in 1927, Cardiff City defeated Arsenal London in the FA Cup Final, making it the only time that the cup was won by a team not based in England. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy at the moment, but find out how baseball is different from football in the Random Fact section!

Proper Lot - The Golden State Warriors have purchased undeveloped land from Salesforce in order to build a brand new arena. Read here.

Owner Incentive - A group of fans is planning a fund to help a future owner keep NFL franchise Buffalo Bills from moving to another city. Read here.

Land Of The Free

Written by Rudy on April 22, 2014 - 6:44 am -

While wannabes that cannot afford Monte Carlo hang out in St. Tropez, it's the same with people who go to ESPN, because they cannot handle the Rudy Report, today on "National Go For a Walk Day." St. Tropez is in France on top of that, so why would you want to go there anyway? The United States is a great country, where you can live freely... wait a second....


Nothing interesting happened in the Boston Marathon this year. The Champions League semi-finals will begin today with Chelsea taking on Atletico Madrid. The potentially season-ending injury of Yankees pitcher Ivan Nova could mean that the team has to trade for a new starting pitcher. And, in the NBA, the New York Knicks have rightfully fired their entire coaching stuff. That means, we can look forward to more disappointing choices to come. 

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Marshawn Lynch, Ken Dorsey, Dion Dublin, Zarley Zalapski, and Romanian kick-boxing legend Daniel "The Savage Samurai" Ghita. On this day in 1954, the NBA adopted the 24-second shot clock and the 6-team foul rule. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but learn something interesting about Saint Augustine in the Random Fact section!

Growing List - The list of names of potential buyers for NFL franchise Buffalo Bills is growing with Donald Trump, Bon Jovi, Jim Kelly, and Jeremy Jacobs reportedly interested. Read here.

Doing The Math

Written by Rudy on April 21, 2014 - 6:36 am -

The Rudy Report is proud to have been used for both spiritual and scientific guidance in the quest to make the world a better place, today on "National Husband Appreciation Day." Anyways, if you need guidance in school, you need to find a good tutor... if you can....

Math 1_1

Barcelona star Neymar is out for the rest of the season with a foot injury. The jersey of LeBron James remains the best selling jersey in the NBA for the sixth year in a row. In the Premier League, Liverpool solidified its lead with a win, while second place Chelsea lost a crucial game. On Saturday, in the NBA, Brooklyn beat Toronto to take a 1-0 series lead. In the NHL, the New York Rangers lost Game 2 of the Playoffs against Philadelphia, which means that the series is now tied at 1-1. And, in baseball, both the Yankees and Mets had to go into extra innings, with the Yankees beating Tampa Bay, and the Mets winning against Atlanta.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Tony Romo, Vincent Lecavalier, Thomas Helmer, Ed Belfour, Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake, and Belgian hurdling sensation Jonathan Nsenga. On this day in 1898, Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Bill Duggleby hit a grand slam home run on his first at-bat. Have a great week, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but learn something fascinating about the dishwasher in the Random Fact section!

Islanders Sale - Aside from attorney Andrew Barroway, there are apparently more investor groups interested in buying NHL franchise New York Islanders. Read here.

Local Ties - The sale of the Milwaukee Bucks to a group of New York-based investors has been completed, but several local minority owners may be added soon. Read here.

Odd Man Out

Written by Rudy on April 18, 2014 - 8:27 am -

The Rudy Report would like to point out that the shirt you are wearing (if you are wearing one) looks great, today on "National Golf Day." Anyways, teamwork is a good thing. It always consist of one person doing all the work and teammates standing around doing nothing. Just watch out for the infiltrators....


Despite concerns, officials in Rio have confirmed that the planning for the 2016 Summer Olympics is on track. In Game 1 of the NHL Playoffs, the New York Rangers beat Philadelphia. And, in baseball, the New York Yankees beat Tampa Bay.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Scott Hartnell, Robyn Regehr, Michael Bradley, Haile Gebrselassie, and Polish tongue-twisting soccer sensation Wojciech Szczesny. On this day in 1923, the original Yankee Stadium opened. Have a great weekend, there is no new Dear Rudy at the moment, but you can learn something interesting about aluminum in the Random Fact section!

Big Bucks - A group of New York-based investment experts has purchased NBA franchise Milwaukee Bucks for approximately $550 million. Read here.

Done Deal - Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank has successfully acquired an MLS expansion franchise for the city, expected to start play in 2017. Read here.

It Stinks

Written by Rudy on April 17, 2014 - 6:53 am -

Compared to the Rudy Report, Russia looks very, very small, because we took over the world many years ago and have since dominated sports and lifestyle reporting, like today on "National High Five Day." Well, as you know, typos can cause World Wars. But it could be much worse than that. It could cost you the effect of an advertisement investment and that stinks, literally....


In addition to Toni Kroos, Manchester United are also said to be interested in Dortmund striker Marco Reus. Meanwhile, Atletico Madrid star Diego Costa is set to join Chelsea for 60 million Euros. The New York Rangers will take on Philadelphia in the NHL Playoffs today. In baseball, the New York Yankees beat the Cubs twice. Lamar Odom will be joining the New York Knicks. And you thought things couldn't get worse... Meanwhile, in the NBA's season finale, the Knicks beat Toronto, while Brooklyn lost against Cleveland.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Boomer Esiason, Roddy Piper, Jo-Wilfried Tsonga, and Sri Lankan cricket legend Muttiah Muralitharan. On this day in 1964, the Ford Mustang was introduced to the North American market. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but learn something about the baseball that you did not know before in the Random Fact section!

Trump Card - If Donald Trump is successful at buying the Buffalo Bills, he is likely to be approved by the National Football League as an owner. Read here.