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Today July 23, 2014

Through The Cracks

Written by Rudy on July 24, 2014 - 6:07 am -

A new survey has found that 82.2% of Brazilian readers prefer reading the Rudy Report over their country playing against Germany in the World Cup semi-finals, today on "National Tell An Old Joke Day." Anyways, as Rudy always says: It is okay to have a big mouth as long as those things that you say come true. This company here is doing it wrong and may be on crack....


Formula One team Mercedes has plans to create an all-German team, attempting to sign world champion Sebastian Vettel to drive alongside Nico Rosberg. It looks like the Cleveland Cavaliers will be able to successfully trade for Kevin Love. And, in baseball, the New York Yankees beat Texas in a game that was shortened by rain, while the Mets beat Seattle.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Jamie Langenbrunner, Torrie Wilson, Rick Fox, Barry Bonds, Karl Malone, and Estonian basketball sensation Kaido Saks. On this day in 2005, Lance Armstrong retired, which was before all doping stories broke. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy at the moment, but learn something incredible about lobsters and jellyfish in the Random Fact section!

Tough Sell - Donald Sterling claims that he is the only owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, suing his wife to stop the $2 billion sale of the team. Read here.

World Cup Recap

Written by Rudy on July 23, 2014 - 6:47 am -

With the World Cup over and only five months left in the year, you may already have a favorite for the Rudy Report Athlete of the Year 2014 Award, so save your nominations for later, today on "National Gummy Worm Day." Anyways, enough time has passed to allow for an objective analysis of the World Cup. The German team was celebrated when they arrived in Berlin last week. Not every team had such a nice welcome, like the English team....


Manchester United wants to sign German star defender Mats Hummels from Borussia Dortmund for $27 million. The New York Yankees may acquire pitcher Cliff Lee as well as second baseman Chase Utley. On the field, the Yankees beat Texas in extra innings, while the New York Mets played too late against Seattle.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Giovane Elber, Nomar Garciaparra, Terry Glenn, and Russian long jump sensation Yelena Sokolova. On this day in 1903, Ford sold its first car. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but you can learn what kind of pen you should use if you want to remember things in the Random Fact section!

Expensive Effects - The saga surrounding the sale of the Los Angeles Clippers may force owner Donald Sterling to sell $500 million in real estate. Read here.

Smart Move - Moving the NBA logo on jerseys to the back is opening up lucrative space on the front of the jerseys, which could be sold to sponsors. Read here.

In The Running - Singer Jon Bon Jovi is apparently one of the favorites to acquire NFL franchise Buffalo Bills within the next few months. Read here.


Written by Rudy on July 22, 2014 - 6:58 am -

The Rudy Report would like to point out that it has been a month since Luis Suarez last bit one of his opponents, which is a great achievement for this cannibal, today on "National Chicken Wing Day." Anyways, Google Glass is already old and so out. The new, hot things are reality simulators. This one makes you feel like Stevie Wonder....


Arsenal London is close to signing Milan striker and former Rudy Report Athlete of the Year Mario Balotelli for 20 million Euros. Meanwhile, Didier Drogba could return to Chelsea. The New York Knicks may try to trade JR Smith to improve the team. And, in baseball, the New York Yankees lost against Texas, while the Mets also had a loss against Seattle.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Steven Jackson, Keyshawn Johnson, Sparky Lyle, and Sri Lankan cricket sensation Nuwan Kulasekara. On this day in 1967, the Atlanta Braves used a record five pitchers in the 9th inning. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy at the moment, but learn something about Ohio that has nothing at all to do with LeBron James in the Random Fact section!

Good Bet - After the British Open, the father of Rory McIlroy earns $170,000 from a bet he made ten years ago when his son was 15 years old. Read here.

Personal Space

Written by Rudy on July 21, 2014 - 7:38 am -

You have to realize that every Rudy Report is a special edition, because nothing that we ever create is normal, like today on "World Jump Day." Anyways, the world is getting more and more crowded. Personal space is becoming more limited, and you literally have to fight for it or pay dearly. This guy is getting it right....


Rory McIlroy (who looks like Mecki the Hedgehog, look it up online) won the British Open, having led the tournament on all four days. The captain of the German national team Philipp Lahm has decided to retire after winning the World Cup. The NFL Draft will leave New York and take place in Chicago or LA next year. And, in baseball, the New York Yankees beat Cincinnati, while the Mets lost against San Diego.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Kellen Winslow, CC Sabathia, David Carr, Brandi Chastain, Giant Silva, Chandu Borde, and German ski jumping legend Jens Weissflog. On this day in 1983, the world's lowest ever measured temperature in an inhabited location was recorded in Vostok Station, Antarctica, at -89.2 Celsius (-128.6 Fahrenheit). Have a great week, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but learn something about China that you absolutely did not know before in the Random Fact section!

Big City Football - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and Patriots owner Robert Kraft are actively discussing new franchises in Los Angeles and London. Read here.

Open Doors

Written by Rudy on July 18, 2014 - 7:05 am -

You are reading the world famous Rudy Report Weekend Edition, which has won the Nobel Prize for online reporting eight years in a row, like today on "National Caviar Day." Anyways, there is a saying that goes when one door closes, another door opens. That is true. But some doors may be harder to open than others....


Germany is the new leader of the official national soccer team rankings ahead of Argentina and the Netherlands. Meanwhile, Chelsea may act faster than Arsenal to sign Real Madrid midfielder Sami Khedira. And, at the British Open, Rory McIlroy is in the lead at 6 under. Tiger Woods is closely behind at 3 under.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Penny Hardaway, Marc Girardelli, Torii Hunter, Alan Pardew, Joe Torre, and Irish rugby sensation Shane Horgan. On this day in 1968, Intel was founded in Santa Clara, California. Have a great weekend, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but you can learn something interesting about World War I in the Random Fact section!

New Gamble - The National Basketball Association is discussing a proposal to reform the current draft lottery in a bid to make teams more competitive. Read here.