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Today December 20, 2014

Make A U-Turn

Written by Rudy on December 19, 2014 - 6:24 am -

While you are probably still talking about the "Rudy Report Athlete of the Year 2014" edition from yesterday, this will actually be the last Rudy Report of the year, before we return on January 5th, 2015, today on "National Sangria Day." So enjoy the Holidays as you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah or whatever tradition your newly-emancipated, hipster religion has come up with. Anyways, this is where the road for this year ends. It's painful, but we will be back next year....


The Dallas Mavericks have made a trade for Celtics star Rajon Rondo, seriously trying to win a championship with an aging squad. Dortmund striker Marco "Rolls" Reus has to pay a fine of more than $660,000 for driving without a valid driver's license. The NFL featured a game between Jacksonville and Tennessee. No score could be verified, because nobody watched. And, in the NBA, the New York Knicks lost against Chicago.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Jake Plummer, Rafael Soriano, Tom Gugliotta, Kevin McHale, and Finnish javelin throwing sensation Tero Pitamaki. On this day in 1983, the original FIFA World Cup trophy, the Jules Rimet Trophy, was stolen from the Brazilian Football Federation headquarters in Rio. Have a great Christmas and start into 2015, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but you can learn something interesting about alcohol in the Random Fact section!

Russia One - A new report finds that Mikhail Prokhorov's ownership of the Brooklyn Nets is his safest investment retaining a solid value despite economic turmoil and his crumbling net worth. Read here.

Russia Two - Due to the economic crisis in Russia, hockey league KHL could be forced to cut player salaries in half, giving the NHL an edge to sign more stars. Read here.

The Italian Job - AC Milan owner Silvio Berlusconi is providing 70 million Euros for his club this year in order to fund huge losses. Read here.

Tough Competition - Sports powerhouse Sky could face tough competition in the United Kingdom with the emergence of the BT Group, which is set to bid for Premier League rights. Read here.

The Rudy Report Athlete Of The Year 2014

Written by Rudy on December 18, 2014 - 8:04 am -

The day you have all been waiting for has finally arrived as we announced the "Rudy Report Athlete of the Year 2014", today on "National Re-Gifting Day." The Rudy Report jury, consisting of Rudy, sat down for months to evaluate the best athletes of the year. As you know, we are always looking for more than just outstanding performances. Luis Suarez took a bite out of the other candidates' votes, but was it enough? Or was it the switch-hitting Adrian Peterson? Well, none of them came close to the man who will succeed these "Rudy Report Athletes of the Year" winners from the past. The elite of the elite:

- Roger Clemens (2007)

- Michael Vick (2008)

- Phil "The Power" Taylor (2009)

- Paul the Octopus (2010)

- Mario Balotelli (2011)

- Ryan Lochte (2012)

- Alex Rodriguez (2013)

Without further ado, the Rudy Report is presenting the award's 2014 winner: Raymell Mourice (his family would like to apologize for the typos in his first names) "Ray" Rice. Congratulations!


As always, there are many reasons why Ray Rice set himself apart from the rest. He (literally) beat the competition. As a running back, he showed his stiff arm on and off the field consistently, making him a knockout performer in 2014. In addition, he had an extremely compelling elevator pitch that swayed the judges. In the future, Rice could be joining the Ultimate Elevator Fighting Championship to compete with other stars, such as Jay-Z and his sister-in-law Solange Knowles. He also showed his soft side when he accepted his wife's apology, when she came "running back" to him after the incident. And, finally, as you can see in the picture, wearing a fancy suit, he is a big hit with the ladies. Bill Cosby would be proud.

Real Madrid is ready to pay more than $50 million for Manchester United goalkeeper David de Gea, which would be a new record for a goalie. And, in the NBA, Brooklyn lost against Toronto.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Stone Cold Steve Austin, Mario Basler, Arantxa Sanchez Vicario, Trish Stratus, and Dutch darts legend Vincent "The Dutch Destroyer" van der Voort. On this day in 1958, Project SCORE, the world's first communications satellite, was launched. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but you can learn something you did not know before about Benjamin Franklin in the Random Fact section!

Hot Takeover - There are rumors that the government of Qatar will bid $1.6 billion to acquire Premier League club Tottenham Hotspur. Read here.

Staying Put - The San Diego Chargers have announced that they will stay in their current stadium in 2015, which means that the Raiders or Rams are more likely to move to LA. Read here.

Finish Line - Telecommunications company Sprint has announced that they will not be renewing their NASCAR title sponsorship contract, which expires in 2016. Read here.


Written by Rudy on December 17, 2014 - 7:03 am -

Tomorrow will be the biggest day of the year, when the Rudy Report will officially announce who will succeed Alex Rodriguez as the "Rudy Report Athlete of the Year", but not yet today on "National Maple Syrup Day." Anyways, Uber is a great and efficient service that you can use when you need a ride. They offer a lot, which upsets regular taxi drivers all around the world. But Uber cannot offer this....


Bayern Munich is said to be joining the race to sign Liverpool star Raheem Sterling. In the NBA, the New York Knicks got crushed by Dallas, while Brooklyn lost against Miami. And, in the NHL, the New York Rangers beat Calgary.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Chase Utley, Tim Wiese, Paula Radcliffe, Rocco Mediate, and Kazakh-Russian gymnastics legend Valeri Liukin. On this day in 1892, the first issue of Vogue magazine was published. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy at the moment, but you can learn something not so cool about flies in the Random Fact section!

Comeback Kid - A new article examines Tiger Woods' commercial return and his ability to further increase his net worth of currently $1 billion. Read here.

The King Is Here

Written by Rudy on December 16, 2014 - 7:24 am -

Readers of the Rudy Report belong to the elite of the elite, they think outside of the box, and they know that seals are nothing more than dog-mermaids, today on "National Chocolate-Covered Anything Day." Anyways, some countries still have kings and queens with different traditions and rites. In the picture below, we see the current King of India taking a ride with his throne....


Real Madrid is planning on selling Gareth Bale to Manchester United for $140 million, which will give them money to sign Chelsea's Eden Hazard and Liverpool's Raheem Sterling. In the Champions League, the top games in the Round of 16 will be Paris against Chelsea and Manchester City against Barcelona. The name of the future NHL expansion franchise in Las Vegas could be the "Black Knights." In the NHL, the New York Islanders beat New Jersey in a shoot-out. And, on Monday Night Football, New Orleans beat Chicago.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Trevor Immelman, Donovan Bailey, William "The Refrigerator" Perry, and Estonian decathlon legend Indrek Kaseorg. On this day in 1707, Mount Fuji near Tokyo erupted for the last time. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but you can learn something interesting about a special kind of fear in the Random Fact section!

Manning Franchise - There are rumors that Peyton Manning and Jimmy Haslam are interested in owning an NFL franchise together, which could be the Tennessee Titans that may sell in 2015. Read here.

Banned - English clubs Leeds, Nottingham Forrest, and Blackburn have been banned from making transfers in the January window after not meeting Financial Fair Play requirements. Read here.

Two To Tango - The National Football League has confirmed that they would prefer having two franchises play in Los Angeles. Read here.

Lost In Translation

Written by Rudy on December 15, 2014 - 7:32 am -

The Rudy Report would like to advise you to buy a birthday card with your morning bottle of alcohol, so that people will think it is a gift, today on "National Free Shipping Day." Anyways, it's hard to learn a new language. Luckily, online translation services make it easy for everyone to translate text to virtually any language, even French. Just make sure to double check sometimes....


Due to the team's struggles, New York Knicks star Carmelo Anthony may waive his no-trade clause if a good trade is on the table. Meanwhile, the Knicks lost against Toronto in overtime. Oregon quarterback Marcus Mariota won the Heisman Trophy. In the Premier League, Chelsea, Arsenal, and ManCity all won their respective games. Manchester United beat Liverpool 3-0 in the top game of the week. In the NFL, the New York Giants beat Washington, while the Jets were also victorious against Tennessee. And, in the NHL, the New York Rangers beat Edmonton.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Mo Vaughn, Martin Skrtel, Roman Pavlyuchenko, and Guyanese cricket legend Carl Hooper. On this day in 1997, the San Francisco 49ers retired Joe Montana's Number 16. Have a great week, there is no new Dear Rudy at the moment, but you can find out what happens when you turn 31 in the Random Fact section!

Vegas Hockey - A new report profiles the potential owner of a future National Hockey League franchise in Las Vegas and its chances of succeeding. Read here.

Slow Motion - Former Yankees star Derek Jeter has expressed interest in owning a MLB franchise, but does not plan on making a move anytime soon. Read here.

On The Move - Despite constant denials, rumors remain that the Arizona Coyotes and Florida Panthers could be prime relocation targets. Read here.