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Today December 05, 2016

Taking A Stand

Written by Rudy on March 02, 2012 - 7:29 am -

The Rudy Report is making the world a better place as the only thing that Israel and Iran can agree on is that they like reading our reports, which is nice, today on "National Pyramid Day." While "Linsanity" rages on for the New York Knicks, miracles in sport are really nothing unusual. You think Jeremy Lin does incredible stuff? Well, think again...


The Dallas Mavericks will sign Steve Nash, if Dwight Howard or Deron Williams decide not to join the franchise. In the NBA, Oklahoma beat Orlando. And, in the NHL, the New York Rangers continued their strong season with a win against Carolina.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Reggie Bush, Corey Webster, Kevin Kuranyi, Damien Duff, Harry Redknapp, and Welsh golf legend Ian "Woosie" Woosnam. On this day in 1797, the Bank of England issued the first One-Pound and Two-Pound banknotes. Those were heavy notes... Have a great weekend, there is still no new Dear Rudy at the moment, but find out how long it will at least take you to get out of a zipped suitcase in the Random Fact section!

Running Out Of Gas - There is a chance that British club Portsmouth FC will not be able to finish the Championship season as funds may run out soon. Read here.

Final Agreement - The city of Minneapolis and the Minnesota Vikings have reached a deal for a new stadium near downtown after years of negotiations. Read here.

A Healthy Smile

Written by Rudy on March 01, 2012 - 6:57 am -

The Rudy Report has an impeccable track record for making predictions of any kind, and now Rudy is predicting that there will be Summer Olympics in London in a few months, but not today on "National Go Bowling Day." People are always complaining about the high costs of healthcare. And they're right! It is way too expensive. In countries, like Qatar, healthcare is completely free. And it pays off...


Plaxico Burress has stated that he would love to join the Philadelphia Eagles and play with Michael Vick. It would be a true All-Thug Team. In soccer, Germany crushed France as expected (Note: Real result may or may not vary from report). And, in the NBA, the Linsane Knicks beat the most boring city in the country: Cleveland.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Chris Webber, Tyler Hamilton, Ron Francis, Martin O'Neill, and Japanese gymnastics legend Akinori Nakayama. On this day in 1947, the International Monetary Fund began financial operations. Have a great day, there is no new Dear Rudy right now, but learn something you already knew about America's doctors in the Random Fact section!

The Waiting Game - Nobody seems to really know why the sale of the San Diego Padres is taking so long as the approval process has been very slow. Read here.

Less Is More - In a surprise statement, the British sports minister said that the Summer Olympics in London will end up costing less than budget. Read here.

Setting Priorities

Written by Rudy on February 29, 2012 - 7:32 am -

This is the Rudy Report with its Annual February 29th Edition (yes, unlike others, we have an edition for February 29th every year), today on "National Public Sleeping Day." Anyways, Rudy Report readers like to party. And boy do they party right! When it comes to organizing a fun time, you need to be creative and you need to set priorities...


We are getting close to the beginning of baseball season, which means that the Yankees will play against the Red Sox 90 times until the playoffs start in October. Also, March Madness college basketball is right around the corner. German national team striker Lukas Podolski is being transferred to Premier League club Arsenal London. And, in the NHL, the New York Islanders lost against Washington in overtime.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Cam Ward, Simon Gagne, Benedikt Hoewedes, and Cuban athletics legend Ivan Garcia. On this day in 1972, Hank Aron became the first player in Major League Baseball history to sign a $200,000 contract. Have a great day, there is still the new Dear Rudy about the Knicks and Linsanity, and learn something about elections in the Random Fact section!

Seven Left - There are seven groups of bidders left in the auction for the Los Angeles Dodgers with bids allegedly reaching as much as $1.5 billion. Read here.

Fit For The Kings - NBA franchise Sacramento Kings has reached an agreement with the city to build a new arena for $400 million. Read here.

Not Selling - The Wilpon family has made it clear that they have no intention to sell the New York Mets, because it's fun to hang on to a crappy franchise. Read here.

The End Of The Rainbow

Written by Rudy on February 28, 2012 - 9:49 am -

A new survey has found that 74.2% of readers prefer reading the Rudy Report over getting free season tickets to the New York Mets, which is great, today on "National Get Fit for Summer Day." St. Patrick's Day is coming up soon. So proud and ugly Irish people with red hair will once again celebrate... well, nothing, except for their uneventful history. However, there will be lots to drink, which is what some Irish consider the ultimate prize...

Rainbow 1_1

The Daytona 500 were interrupted by a bizarre crash when Juan Pablo Montoya's car lost control during a caution flag phase and crashed into a clean-up car, leading to an explosion and igniting the tank of the truck filled with hundreds of gallons of jet fuel. Aside from crashes and explosions, Matt Kenseth won the race late after midnight. Congratulations! The New York Mets may trade David Wright, but fans may get upset. There are still rumors that Dwight Howard may be traded to the Lakers. Super Bowl hero Mario Manningham will most likely leave the Giants. And, in the NHL, the Rangers beat the New Jersey Devils.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Eric Lindros, Brian Billick, Sepp Maier, Mario Andretti, and Slovenian ski jumping legend Primoz Peterka. On this day in 1940, basketball was televised for the first time, showing a game between Fordham University and the University of Pittsburgh at Madison Square Garden. Have a great day, there is the great new Dear Rudy about Jeremy Lin and Linsanity, and learn something interesting about cats' eating habits in the Random Fact section!

Move Problems - The Oakland A's still have the desire to move to San Jose, but the San Francisco Giants may object to such a move. Read here.

Good Step - The city of Santa Clara has taken another important step towards a stadium for the San Francisco 49ers, with construction to start within 120 days. Read here.

Houston, We Have A Problem

Written by Rudy on February 27, 2012 - 9:55 am -

A new scientific survey has found that 19% of the economic recovery can be attributed to a better labor market in the US, 11% to solved problems in the European Union, and 70% to the Rudy Report, today on "International Polar Bear Day." The Rudy Report has mostly stayed away from comments about Whitney Houston, because Rudy has more important things to report. However, it is honorable how some dedicated fans remember the singer...


At the NBA All-Star Game, Jeremy Evans won a boring Slam Dunk Competition. The game itself was won by the West 152-149, with Kevin Durant claiming the MVP title. In the NHL, the New York Rangers beat Buffalo on Saturday. In the Premier League, Chelsea, Manchester City, and Manchester United all won their respective games. Arsenal won the North London Derby 5-2 against Tottenham. And, the Daytona 500 has been postponed to tonight due to bad weather.

The Rudy Report says Happy Birthday to Tony Gonzalez, Devin Harris, Matt Stairs, Todd Bodine, and American motorcycle racing star Colin "Texas Tornado" Edwards. On this day in 1964, the Italian government formally asked for help to keep the Leaning Tower of Pisa from toppling over. Have a great week, there is a brand-new Dear Rudy about Linsanity, and learn something about dreams in the Random Fact section!

Another One Goes - A group led by former Los Angeles Dodgers manager Joe Torre has dropped out of the bidding for the franchise. Read here.

The New Guy - Swimwear tycoon Raj Bhathal looks to be the favorite in the running to acquire the New Orleans Hornets from the NBA. Read here.